Never Letting Go
by Merrybeans
Summary: Short oneshot. Someone searches their whole life for love. Finds it too late, in the last person they expected.


A/N: My god. I am shamed to show my face around here. I am such a bad author. blushes All my exams have finished now and I'm trying really really hard to finish _Moving On_ (only two chapters left!) but the characters are misbehaving. Its causing me so much trouble. I was ready to give up. Then I was flicking through Cami's group _Strictly Nealan_, picking out fanfiction recommendations when what should I come across but my fic. I have to say that I wrote fanfiction for nearly two years before I posted anything and I never seriously believed my writing was any good. I expected my fic to fail and was totally overwhelmed and taken aback by the response I got. But it only really hit me today that people actually _seriously_ like my writing when I saw Cami's recommendation (thanks Cami by the way). I got very… emotional. And it didn't help that I was listening to one of my mum's sappy CDs. I churned this out. I've barely checked it and I know that come morning, I'll hate it. I can't even believe I'm posting it. It was just a scene that popped into my head and I had to write it down. Its not that great and nothing special (and really short) but I just felt like posting it to let you know I'm still alive. Like I said, the next chappie of MO is costing me blood and sweat but is in the workings and so is the first chappie of my next fic. 

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Unfortunately.

Dedication: This is for all the people that have ever reviewed my fic or said anything good about it. Thank you. 

~*~

They stood there, not moving, just looking at each other. Gazing upon eyes they had known all these years, yet never truly allowed themselves to become lost in the depths of. The world rushed past and time stretched out before them. Yet, somehow it wasn't enough. It could never be enough. Not now. It was too late. They had missed their only chance. 

He reached his arm out- longing just to feel her, just to touch her, as if that would make it right. As if a simple touch would solve all their problems; as if a stroke of his hand would absolve the pain locked in their hearts; as if contact would cure all the damage their relationship had suffered and would forgive for everything they had now missed.

His hand stopped an inch from her face. If he touched her, it would confirm that there was no further chance for them. Could he live with that? Could he live knowing that he had not seen what he had been searching for all his life until it was too late? That thing- that small thing called love that he had wanted all his life, that he looked for in every woman he had known. He had not spotted that it was right under his nose all these past years. The one place he had refused to look. And now, now that he had stepped back and observed those closest to him, he could see that it was there- cleverly hidden in a fabric of emotions and memories. How cliché. And now it was too late. He had taken that step back too late and he couldn't stop what would happen. If only he had not been so blind he may have had a chance. He may have felt that happiness that he always wished for- that pure, blinding happiness that only came with love. But he had been foolish. She had stood there, under his nose but he had ignored her. Now, he was going to loose her. And there was nothing neither of them could do about it.

His hand met her cheek, and their eyes closed. The power a simple touch had over him was scary. He couldn't control his actions, and he didn't want to. His other hand reached up to her other cheek and he felt his face come closer to hers. He could feel her breath warm on his nose- his nose and his mouth- before their lips met. One kiss; one kiss that would last forever, that would never die. One kiss that would be burnt into their memories. One kiss that all other kisses would have to live up to but would never be able to. One kiss. That was all. But it was so much. 

They shouldn't have kissed; it was going to make it so much harder to break apart. But it was their final chance and for a moment, a moment when time cracked at the seams, they were able to escape- escape from harsh reality- and experience what would now be unattainable for them.  It gave them something to survive on in those darkest moments of life when you feel you can't continue. The memory of this love would help them along, make them smile and make them cry. The memory of the love he realised too late. 

Pulling away was hard, harder than anything either of them had ever had to do before and probably harder than anything to come in their futures. Their futures apart. His left hand found hers, and clung to it. The clutch said in itself what he couldn't put into words, what he dared not.

Don't go. Don't leave me. It doesn't have to be like this. Just hold on… never let go. We can prolong this moment. We can make it last forever. We can make time break and fall. We can be together. Just… never let go.

'Don't let go,' he whispered, his forehead resting against hers. A tear slipped out of his soul-filled eye, running down his cheek. A tear that crystallised on his skin, forming a perfect pearl of pain, torment and passion. It glowed with emotion, threatening to crack open wide and let everything spill out. Just like his heart. He had never known anything like this could be felt. It began to rain. How appropriate. 

Still they stood there, locked together, hands clasped tightly and the rain fell and soaked them. She reached out with a small smile and touched the very spot his tear had fallen too. Bringing her finger to her lips, she kissed it lightly and then touched it to her heart. 

'I never will,' she replied with a smile. Then she began, so slowly it was almost like she wasn't moving at first, to back away. The bubble around them began to burst, gradually settling them back into reality. She continued to smile, knowing that he loved her and she loved him. 

He didn't move as she began to go. He didn't speak. It was inevitable. He had known that from the beginning. Their hands were the last parts touching - her right hand intertwined with his left. Slowly, her fingers untangled from his. He nearly grabbed her hand again, knowing that as soon as they lost contact, the curtain would have fallen on the last act of the story.

But he stood still and felt her slip through his fingertips as easy as sand. As she moved further away from him, his arm came down to his side but he could still feel her touch on his palm, her lingering fingers entangled with his. 

He watched as she turned and walked away from him. He watched as people crashed around him. He watched as the rain saturated him. He didn't see anyone else, he didn't feel the rain. He didn't realise the front of his hair was falling in his eyes, dripping rain down his nose. He didn't smell the blood or the burning flesh around him. He watched her. Watched her… as she faded. She became smaller and smaller… and he watched. He watched until she disappeared and he could see her no longer. Then, for a short while, he watched the space where she had been.

He realised he was smiling too. He would never see her again. But it was ok. He loved her, and she knew. And he knew that she loved him.

'Don't forget me, Keladry,' he whispered. He took a deep breath in, settling his new emotions. His eyes closed briefly and he saw her smiling face in front of him. His chest swelled with the peace he had found. 

'You always have made me smile,' Neal mumbled to himself, as he picked up his fallen sword. He turned his back on the last spot he had seen Kel and grinned. With a wild war cry he leapt into battle, love giving him strength he never knew he had. 


End file.
